Waiting (and waiting... and waiting...)

Isaiah 30:18

¹⁸ Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!

1 Corinthians 1:8-9

⁸He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.

Who enjoys a nice, long wait? You're starving, it's dinner time, and you've gone to your favorite restaurant. You approach the host and she tells you, "It'll be about an hour wait." Your alarm didn't go off, you're already 15 minutes behind schedule, you pull onto the interstate and... traffic jam! Nobody enjoys waiting (well, I guess I shouldn't generalize; there are weirdos out there, but you get my drift). Lord knows, I have done my fair share!

I just started working again after being unemployed since December. Because of my not earning wages, I had to endure without internet as well. (Oh, the horror!) This blog is coming to you now because that long wait is over! Praise the Lord!

Waiting isn't always a bad thing, though. Waiting through a tough time while trusting in God can have a rewarding outcome. Romans 5 says, "we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."Amen!

I've never had much patience. Often if I know I can't finish a task as quickly as in one setting, I won't start it. I get irritated easily in traffic (but my new commute is teaching me a few things!). However, patience is indeed a virtue. Not throw around cliches willy-nilly, but many cliches become cliches because they are true. Furthermore, as Christians, we are called to be patient. "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." (Colossians 3:12)

Sometimes, the waiting makes things even better. Food almost always tastes better when you're starving. A pool is more refreshing when you've spent long hours in the sweltering heat. And there is no greater feeling of accomplishment than when you've worked long and hard on something and you succeed. I just want to encourage those who are having a hard time with being patient to stick it out. The end result is worth it! God isn't in the habit of letting His children down.

Despair is a waste of your time, don't you know...

Psalm 42

¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.

² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

³ My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

⁴ These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

⁵ Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and ⁶ my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

⁷ Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

⁸ By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

⁹ I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

¹¹ Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

I don't have much to add to this, really. I just wanted to share a psalm. This is one of my favorites. I really miss blogging and will try to update more soon!

Friends

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down,, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."


"Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them..." You know, I really hate that song. Nothing against Michael W. Smith, but I had to sing that song at my senior prom, and therefore was forced to listen to it ad nauseam. However, the central theme of that song is true. Friends are essential to the Christian faith. God gives us people in our lives to help us through the hard times. It seems like common sense to know that, right? Most of us understand that the people in our lives serve to help us and for us to help them. It's a give and take thing. Then why do so many of us keep insisting on doing it all alone?

So many people (including myself) try to hide when they're going through a difficult time and not let anyone in. We play the martyr, thinking it's our cross to bear alone. But Jesus already did that, so why would we want to make things more difficult for ourselves than they need to be?

It's hard to put ourselves out there, yes; and when you let yourself be transparent and vulnerable, you're bound to get hurt at some point. However, the other option is to isolate yourself which ultimately leads to becoming numb or bitter and in turn will affect your relationship with God. He didn't mean for us to walk this road alone; that's why the church was built as a community. We are much more effective together than we are if we work alone.

Anyway, I've had this devotion sitting on my mac book for months. I finally got around to editing and posting it. I didn't delve too deep, but I feel like God just needed to remind me to not shut people out. I find myself in a season of my life where I can't tell everyone everything that's going on inside my head. This is new for me, because I'm usually such an open and honest person. Hence, I find myself struggling when I'm with certain people because I know I can't discuss what's weighing on my heart with them, and my first inclination is to shut them out. I know this is the wrong reaction, and perhaps I have caused myself more pain by acting in this manner. So God is working on me... I wanted to share it with you.

Beautiful, Indeed

Genesis 1:26-31

26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

29 Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food." And it was so.

31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

Life is busy! Busy enough to keep me from updating this blog. Just a quick little note to get us (well mostly me) through this week. God made us in His image; that says something about the nature of God to me. It says that there isn't a selfish inkling anywhere in Him. It also says something about us: we are, by nature, inexplicably beautiful. Yes, we perceive this beauty in different ways, but the very fact that we were created in the image of the most beautiful Being that could possibly exist should be a shot of confidence in each of us. I know I suffer from insecurity (don't we all!) especially when I fail to be noticed in the way I want (or by the person I want). But God always notices how beautiful I am, because He made me just the way I am, and He said it was good! Praise Jesus for good things! Right?

Anyway, I was looking through some of my old poems the other day and came across this one I wrote back in 2004. It touched me again in a place I very much needed. I hope it touches you as well. It's called "Beautiful."


I see a girl with not much to offer
The guys have always passed her by
I sit alone in front of the mirror
And suddenly I start to cry

Then He comes with a smile on his face
His love so evident to see
He cradles my face in His hands as he says
My Child, you've always been beautiful to me

Kids can be cruel; kids can be mean
So careless with the things that they say
A simple word can do much harm
And alone, I must face another day

But then He comes along, so gentle and kind
And whispers words so tenderly
Despite what I've known, still He insists-
My Child, you've always been beautiful to me

I know that life can be unkind
And most days, it's downright hard
The pressure of society, the words of a few
Can leave so many of us scarred

But when He comes along and lights up the night
Ablaze in His goodness and glory
All of your troubles are erased when He tells you
My Child, you've always been beautiful to me

And we are all quite beautiful, indeed.
(9-06-04)

Mirror

Psalm 19:13-14

13 Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.

14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

It occurred to me today during my worship leading class just how much of human behavior is reactionary and based on emotions or personal preferences. We were discussing the different worship movements in the church starting with traditional and how contemporary was a reaction to that, and now emerging worship is a reaction to contemporary, etc. I then made the distinction that all of these "worship movements" are based on our personal preferences, which in a faith that touts Jesus as the One we serve (not the other way around) seems kind of hypocritical, or somewhat pointless at the least.

The same can be said of our every day behavior. How often does someone say something that angers you, and before you know it, you throw back a particularly nasty barb to hurt them back? I know I do this all the time, or at least I used to. It's a habit I'm trying to get out of. When we act from a purely reactionary standpoint, we're only thinking of ourselves. If we could take a step back and evaluate the situation; God forbid, even try to see where the other person is coming from, we might be able to avoid some heavy conflict. How often as Christians do we let our pride get in the way? Maybe not in our relationship with God, but certainly with other believers. This isn't new: after all, Paul reprimanded the Corinthian believers for this quarreling (1 Cor. 3:2-4). If we truly love our brothers and sisters, wouldn't we try to interact with them using grace and mercy? Sounds like common sense, right?

But obviously it's not, if the church is so divided. How many different denominations are there? I don't know them all! And beyond that, there are sub-denominations- we argue about the right way to do this or the right way to do that. Can you imagine what the Father does when He watches us fight? I think maybe He might just hang His head in exasperation wondering when we'll learn. As the saying goes, Jesus is coming back one day, and He's coming back for a Bride, not a harem.

James 3:8 says no one can tame the tongue, and I've seen this to be true in many cases. But as believers, we're called to a higher standard. This means taking into account everything we say, even when we're joking with our friends. Because things said more than once develop into a pattern and a pattern can become a habit, and habits are hard to break. Then one day you find yourself saying the wrong thing to the wrong person and completely crushing his or her spirit. I guess what I'm trying to say is we all need to keep ourselves in check. Are the meditations of our hearts really pleasing to God? Isn't He the only One who matters anyway?

There's a song by Rebecca St. James called "Mirror" in which she says, "may the words of my mouth please You, dear God... take me, make me an image of You. Lord, I want to mirror You." What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Your Grace is Enough

2 Corinthians 12:1-10

1I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. 2I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. 3And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— 4was caught up to paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that man is not permitted to tell. 5I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 6Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say.
7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


It has been a long two months since I last posted in my so-called "blog of encouragement;" the sole purpose of which was to uplift my brothers and sisters in Christ. Friends, I must apologize for failing to do what God has called me to. In my blogging absence, I have endured much mentally and emotionally that has kept me from posting. I felt I had nothing to give. This is never true! God has given me so much, yet my finite human mind forgets time and again how sufficient His grace is. Why do I fall so often in front of the One who gave me everything? I guess the simple answer is that I'm human. I struggle with that... my humanity.

I always bring you something out of my own conviction when I come to type. Often I find that whatever God is using to encourage me in my life echoes what you all are going through (and I use the word "all" lightly knowing my readership...) But for the handful that do read, I feel I must persevere. I have had a highly stressful week. I have a lot on my plate, a lot going on, and I keep freaking out. Every time I do this, I hear a still, small voice saying "My grace is sufficient." And I've been ignoring it. Then this morning, I'm reading The Unquenchable Worshipper by Matt Redman for one of my classes (the chapter I should have read for Monday, but I digress...) and through his words it becomes so clear. I have been missing the point this entire time!

Redman talks about when Paul and Silas were in prison. They had been severely beaten, thrown into jail, and had their feet in stocks. If anyone had a reason to let their circumstances dictate their mood, it was them. But what did they do? They sang praises to God! Can you imagine being in that situation? Suddenly my massive amount of homework, my car troubles, my finances- they don't seem so big. Has God ever not provided? Has He ever let me down? Of course the answer is a resounding NO! So why would He start now? I am just wondering how much of His beauty I've missed this week because I was filled with worry and doubt...

In one of my classes last week we watched a short devotional video. The interviewer went around asking people what was most important to them in life. Most said they weren't sure. Some said money, family, their health, or some other facet of this American life. One person said God. Then a simple question filled the screen: "What is most important to God?" The answer? YOU! I hate those chain emails that circulate, but the best line from one I always remember goes, "If God has a fridge, your picture would be on it." He is our Dad, first and foremost. We are His children and He only wants what is best for us. It might hurt sometimes, but His grace is sufficient. It was enough for Paul and Silas- it's enough for you and me.

Your Grace is Enough

by Chris Tomlin

Great is Your faithfulness oh God

You wrestle with the sinner's heart

You lead us by still waters and to mercy

And nothing can keep us apart

So remember Your people

Remember Your children

Remember Your promise Oh God

Your grace is enough

Your grace is enough

Your grace is enough for me

Great is Your love and justice

God You use the weak to lead the strong

You lead us in the song of Your salvation

And all Your people sing along

So remember Your people

Remember Your children

Remember Your promise Oh God

Your grace is enough

Your grace is enough

Your grace is enough for me

Your grace is enough

Heaven reaching down to us

Your grace is enough for me

God I see your grace is enough

I'm covered in your love

Your grace is enough for me

Nobody Loves Me

Luke 6:20-26

20Looking at his disciples, he said:
"Blessed are you who are poor,
for yours is the kingdom of God.
21Blessed are you who hunger now,
for you will be satisfied.
Blessed are you who weep now,
for you will laugh.
22Blessed are you when men hate you,
when they exclude you and insult you
and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man.
23"Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your
reward in heaven. For that is how their fathers treated the prophets.
24"But woe to you who are rich,
for you have already received your comfort.
25Woe to you who are well fed now,
for you will go hungry.
Woe to you who laugh now,
for you will mourn and weep.
26Woe to you when all men speak well of you,
for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets."

Sometimes life sucks. It really just does... Sometimes the doctors have no cure. Sometimes the insurance won't cover it. Sometimes the car breaks down for no reason. And rarely do we receive acclaim for doing the right thing. Life is hard... especially for Christians. Jesus said men would hate us because of Him, because we're His followers. And do they ever!

We're all human. We all have flesh that we can't lay aside until we get to heaven. So naturally, we're all going to make mistakes. We will fall; and the world will point and laugh. Then when we do the right thing, they still point and laugh. It was never supposed to be easy, but there is hope. I mean, after all, we aren't working to please the world, are we? We're supposed to work to please God.

I think one of the biggest mistakes we as Christians can make is to get so wrapped up in what we're doing here and now, with the people in our lives, that we lose sight of our First Love. Yes, people are important; and we do need each other (Ecc. 4:12). However, we can become too dependent on others and what they think of us, that we let it influence our actions. We really should only be concerned with what God thinks of what we're doing, not our friends, and especially not the world. And when we're following what God wants for our lives, not everyone is going to like it.

So, if you're like me and sometimes feel like nobody loves you because of who you are, remember who your First Love is. He loves you more than any person possibly can. I leave you once again with a song. "Nobody Loves Me" by Derek Webb.

"I can always tell a liar
And I always know a thief
I know them like my family
Because brother I’m the chief
I’m a dangerous crusader
Because i need to tell the truth
So I’m turning over tables
In my own living room

Then I might nail indictments up
On every door in town
Because it’s not right or safe to let my conscience down
So I don’t care if...

Nobody loves me, nobody loves me
Nobody loves me but you

The truth is never sexy
So it’s not an easy sell
You can dress her like the culture
But she’ll shock ‘em just as well

Because she don’t need an apology for being who she is
And she don’t need your help making enemies
So I don’t care if...

Nobody loves me, nobody loves me
Nobody loves me but you

I’ll do whatever it takes to squeeze us into this wedding gown
I’ll say the words that rattle your nerves
Words like sin and faith alone...

Nobody loves me, nobody loves me
Nobody loves me but you"