New Blog

Hi! If you've found this blog, I must apologize for leaving it so rarely updated.

I have a new blog, called Kinetic Love. I hope to update it at least twice as much as I did this one. Come check it out!

Answer Me with Silence

Psalm 46
For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to Alamoth. A song.

1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
8 Come and see the works of the LORD, the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire.
10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
11 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah



Sometimes we ask questions. Why did this happen? What is going on? And, often we wonder, "Where is God in all of this?" The world can make us believe that God is responsible for the bad things happening around us, but that is simply not true. We live in a fallen world and are often subject to its depravity. God didn't let evil into the world. We did (under the influence of the evil one).

God doesn't leave us in our hardships, either. Dueteronomy 31:6 says, "Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Even when it seems like God is nowhere to be found; if you truly know Him, He is right there with you.

In the rush of things, sometimes it's hard to remember to be still; but sometimes, that's exactly what He is asking you to do.



Silence
by Joy Williams

Are you listening
To anything that I say
'Cause I been praying
How many prayers can I pray

I'm still waiting
Maybe You'll show up today
I know You're here, but I can't feel You
And if You're speaking, I can't hear You
How much longer will this last

So okay,
Answer me with silence
It's okay if You don't say a word
You're testing me to trust You'll be faithful in this quiet
So okay
Answer me
With silence

Why do I question
Your intentions for me
When Your affection
Is a proven legacy

Oh Father, Father
Turn my fears into peace
I know Your love will never leave
I know You want what's best for me

You're testing me to trust
You'll be faithful in this quiet
Oh, it's okay
If You answer me with silence
And it's okay if You don't say a word
You're testing me to trust You'll be faithful in this quiet
So okay,
Answer me
With silence

Detours

Proverbs 3:5-6

⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Have you ever set out to go somewhere, knowing exactly the route you were going to take, how it would look like as you made your way there, only to find at a pivotal point in your journey a large, orange sign that reads "detour?" It's a rather disconcerting feeling. Even if you have a general sense of where this detour is leading you, it's not as comfortable as your preferred route. You were expecting to see your favorite tree, or that lady who sometimes jogs along the sidewalk. Instead, you venture into unfamiliar territory, trusting that these orange signs know where they're leading you.

It happens in life, as well. We plan our route very carefully, knowing exactly what we plan to do, where we plan to go. You will go to X University for 4 years, graduate with your bachelor's degree, and land The Perfect Job. Then that big orange sign pops out of nowhere, and DETOUR. Things don't look like you want them to, and you're not quite sure where you're heading. But... a few months (or years) down the road, you turn back and find out that the detour got you where you needed to be just fine. Maybe it was an even better route than the one you originally planned.

If you grew up in church or attended a Christian school (like I did), you memorized Proverbs 3:5-6. My former church presented me with a throw embossed with it upon my high school graduation. I never quite understood why it said, "make your paths straight." I realize now that this basically means if you trust God completely, He's not going to let you down. Because, in reality, the path isn't always straight. Sometimes it winds erratically. Sometimes it slopes steeply. Sometimes it goes right through the muck and mire. But as long as you know Who is giving you directions, the destination is the same. An alternate version says, "he will direct your paths." This is probably more accurate, at least for me. When I hear that phrase, I imagine God telling me my next move, much like a GPS navigator in the car.

Personally, I am really glad my life didn't turn out like I planned in high school. I wouldn't have the loving, godly friends and family I have today. My detours have made me who I am, and I thank God that even though I don't always know where we're going, He does. And He will never leave me stranded.

Waiting (and waiting... and waiting...)

Isaiah 30:18

¹⁸ Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!

1 Corinthians 1:8-9

⁸He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. ⁹God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.

Who enjoys a nice, long wait? You're starving, it's dinner time, and you've gone to your favorite restaurant. You approach the host and she tells you, "It'll be about an hour wait." Your alarm didn't go off, you're already 15 minutes behind schedule, you pull onto the interstate and... traffic jam! Nobody enjoys waiting (well, I guess I shouldn't generalize; there are weirdos out there, but you get my drift). Lord knows, I have done my fair share!

I just started working again after being unemployed since December. Because of my not earning wages, I had to endure without internet as well. (Oh, the horror!) This blog is coming to you now because that long wait is over! Praise the Lord!

Waiting isn't always a bad thing, though. Waiting through a tough time while trusting in God can have a rewarding outcome. Romans 5 says, "we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."Amen!

I've never had much patience. Often if I know I can't finish a task as quickly as in one setting, I won't start it. I get irritated easily in traffic (but my new commute is teaching me a few things!). However, patience is indeed a virtue. Not throw around cliches willy-nilly, but many cliches become cliches because they are true. Furthermore, as Christians, we are called to be patient. "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." (Colossians 3:12)

Sometimes, the waiting makes things even better. Food almost always tastes better when you're starving. A pool is more refreshing when you've spent long hours in the sweltering heat. And there is no greater feeling of accomplishment than when you've worked long and hard on something and you succeed. I just want to encourage those who are having a hard time with being patient to stick it out. The end result is worth it! God isn't in the habit of letting His children down.

Despair is a waste of your time, don't you know...

Psalm 42

¹ As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.

² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

³ My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

⁴ These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

⁵ Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and ⁶ my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

⁷ Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

⁸ By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

⁹ I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

¹¹ Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

I don't have much to add to this, really. I just wanted to share a psalm. This is one of my favorites. I really miss blogging and will try to update more soon!

Friends

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down,, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."


"Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them..." You know, I really hate that song. Nothing against Michael W. Smith, but I had to sing that song at my senior prom, and therefore was forced to listen to it ad nauseam. However, the central theme of that song is true. Friends are essential to the Christian faith. God gives us people in our lives to help us through the hard times. It seems like common sense to know that, right? Most of us understand that the people in our lives serve to help us and for us to help them. It's a give and take thing. Then why do so many of us keep insisting on doing it all alone?

So many people (including myself) try to hide when they're going through a difficult time and not let anyone in. We play the martyr, thinking it's our cross to bear alone. But Jesus already did that, so why would we want to make things more difficult for ourselves than they need to be?

It's hard to put ourselves out there, yes; and when you let yourself be transparent and vulnerable, you're bound to get hurt at some point. However, the other option is to isolate yourself which ultimately leads to becoming numb or bitter and in turn will affect your relationship with God. He didn't mean for us to walk this road alone; that's why the church was built as a community. We are much more effective together than we are if we work alone.

Anyway, I've had this devotion sitting on my mac book for months. I finally got around to editing and posting it. I didn't delve too deep, but I feel like God just needed to remind me to not shut people out. I find myself in a season of my life where I can't tell everyone everything that's going on inside my head. This is new for me, because I'm usually such an open and honest person. Hence, I find myself struggling when I'm with certain people because I know I can't discuss what's weighing on my heart with them, and my first inclination is to shut them out. I know this is the wrong reaction, and perhaps I have caused myself more pain by acting in this manner. So God is working on me... I wanted to share it with you.

Beautiful, Indeed

Genesis 1:26-31

26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

29 Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food." And it was so.

31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

Life is busy! Busy enough to keep me from updating this blog. Just a quick little note to get us (well mostly me) through this week. God made us in His image; that says something about the nature of God to me. It says that there isn't a selfish inkling anywhere in Him. It also says something about us: we are, by nature, inexplicably beautiful. Yes, we perceive this beauty in different ways, but the very fact that we were created in the image of the most beautiful Being that could possibly exist should be a shot of confidence in each of us. I know I suffer from insecurity (don't we all!) especially when I fail to be noticed in the way I want (or by the person I want). But God always notices how beautiful I am, because He made me just the way I am, and He said it was good! Praise Jesus for good things! Right?

Anyway, I was looking through some of my old poems the other day and came across this one I wrote back in 2004. It touched me again in a place I very much needed. I hope it touches you as well. It's called "Beautiful."


I see a girl with not much to offer
The guys have always passed her by
I sit alone in front of the mirror
And suddenly I start to cry

Then He comes with a smile on his face
His love so evident to see
He cradles my face in His hands as he says
My Child, you've always been beautiful to me

Kids can be cruel; kids can be mean
So careless with the things that they say
A simple word can do much harm
And alone, I must face another day

But then He comes along, so gentle and kind
And whispers words so tenderly
Despite what I've known, still He insists-
My Child, you've always been beautiful to me

I know that life can be unkind
And most days, it's downright hard
The pressure of society, the words of a few
Can leave so many of us scarred

But when He comes along and lights up the night
Ablaze in His goodness and glory
All of your troubles are erased when He tells you
My Child, you've always been beautiful to me

And we are all quite beautiful, indeed.
(9-06-04)